Top 5 Signs She is NOT the One

5. YOUR FRIENDS AREN’T FANS
Even if your friends have horrible taste in movies, music, or people they date, they’ll have a pretty good idea of whether or not she’s good for you. And if they don’t get along with her — or if she can’t stand them — you probably have some serious issues. You can probably sense how they feel about each other, but if you’re not sure, ask a few who’ll be relatively impartial. “Listen to what your friends have to say when you ask their opinion,” he says. “Just don’t let their analysis of your situation be your only basis for breaking it off.” In other words, it should just confirm what you already knew deep down.


4. YOU CAN’T DO NOTHING WITH HER
After the newness of the getting-to-know-you and getting-to-see-you-naked stage fades, the relationship will center on how well you two get along just sharing space and time together. And if doing nothing with her feels like you’re serving hard time, that’s, uh, not so great.

3. YOU FEEL GUILTY ALL THE TIME
Unless you’re truly an awful person, you shouldn’t feel like the bad guy all the time. So if you’re always made to feel like you’re doing something wrong, the real issue is probably either that the two of you are incompatible, or that she has some major issues of her own. Even when you’re made to feel lousy all the time, the thought of ending things can make you feel even more lousy, because she’s cast you as the bad guy. But that’s just going to breed resentment.

2. YOUR SEX LIFE IS LOUSY
It’s surprisingly easy to tell yourself that a less-than-enjoyable sex life is okay if everything else about your partner and relationship is great. After all, it’d be superficial and shallow to put so much emphasis on sex, right? Hell no. In fact, a recent study found that couples in secure and happy relationships have better sex lives than those in insecure, ambivalent, or detached relationships. In other words, a satisfying sex life is a key part of a good relationship.

1. SHE’S AMAZING — BUT YOU STILL CAN’T COMMIT
She’s smart, sexy, and doesn’t get mad when you go to grab a quick drink with your friends and accidentally road trip to Atlantic City on a three-day bender. What a gal! And yet even though you know she’s “perfect,” you can’t visualize yourself with her forever. It’s what psychotherapist Ken Page calls “the wave of distancing,” and it’s pretty common. “You’re with somebody who’s decent, kind, and available — and yet you get bored, judgmental, and annoyed,” he says. “So take a step back and let the wave pass.” Good advice — unless, of course, the “wave” lasts for six months. Then it’s probably not a wave, and either this relationship isn’t right, or you’re not ready for any relationship.

7 Ways to get some Me Time

1. Listen to music.
Studies show that listening to the music you like can have a positive impact on your life and happiness. “Plus, music can trigger memories, give a sense of youthfulness and nostalgia, and take people into different places,” says Karol Ward, L.C.S.W., author of Find Your Inner Voice. “So put on your earphones and let those sounds take you from restless to restful.”

2. Start a blog.
Start a simple blog on something you’re passionate about. Blogging is a great outlet for channeling your thoughts while connecting and sharing your interests with others. “I love blogging during my ‘me’ time,” says Sunny Sea Gold, Glamour health editor and founder of healthygirl.org. “The stuff I blog about is body image and overcoming emotional eating, two things that are super close to my heart. The fact that I’m so passionate about it is what makes the writing so enjoyable and therapeutic. That and getting to know the amazing women who read and comment.”

3. Reorganize your life.
Living and working in a sea of clutter can stress you out without your even realizing it. Each week, spend a few hours clearing out your office or reorganizing your apartment. “Cleaning is therapeutic,” says Elizabeth Kari, 21, from Chicago. “It creates order in my life, and I always feel ready to begin the next day with a fresh, clear start.”

4. Take a power nap.
That’s right. Sleep doctor Michael Breus suggests spending your “me” time sleeping. Just a quick 25-minute power nap and you’ll wake up refreshed and ready to get up and go. To get the most out of this time, try spraying a lavender mist on your pillow. “The smell of lavender eases anxiety and helps you fall asleep,” says Dr. Breus. “In the end it’s about the quality, not quantity, of your sleep.”

5, Send your mind on vacay.
Can’t get away? Visualize it! Imagining yourself in a place that has brought you peace and happiness is a quick, free and clinically proven way to cleanse your mind and enhance your mood. “Picture all the sights, smells and sounds of that wonderful spot,” says Amy Spainhower, director of creative services at metime.com, a company aimed at spreading the “me”-time message. “Just enjoy the feeling of pleasure that comes your way from ‘visiting’ your vacation destination


6.Make an appointment with yourself.

Whether you’re at home reading a book or giving yourself a manicure, scheduling your “me” time is imperative. The key is to make this time a commitment you have to honor, just as you would any other appointment or meeting.


7.Exercise.

Do as the Obamas do: Pick a time each day to work out and stick to it. The physical and mental health benefits of exercise are endless, and it’s the perfect time to spend refocusing, unwinding and concentrating only on you. Plus, you’re not multitasking during Pilates.

Traits Attractive Women Look For In A Man

No.10 Intelligence
Flaunt this trait at your own peril. Intelligence can be very attractive to beautiful women, but only if used in the right way. In other words, a way that’s humble and interesting. Use your intelligence to surprise an attractive woman with off-the-wall, fun ideas, fantasies and unexpected things, and you’ll charm her. Formal education, however, is only attractive if it’s used in this interesting way. If you’re an expert in an area that’s cool, present it from an “I know a lot about this, let me show you” perspective, and not an “I’m so smart and you’re not” angle. Also be aware that some attractive women are actually intimidated by a man with a deep education, so step carefully.
No.9 Challenge
No doubt about it: Attractive women are used to being held up on pedestals and pursued by men all day long. So, if you want to stand out from the 1,000 other guys who hit on her all day long, challenge her. If you act indifferent and aloof to beautiful women, if you make them think that you’re only calling because you’re bored, and act almost disinterested sexually, they’ll often do their very best to get your attention. Again, this drives attractive women crazy — it practically makes them obsess over a guy — even though they’ll never admit it.

No.8 Attentiveness
This one goes hand in hand with No. 9: More than gifts and compliments, attractive women want to know that you’re thinking about them. Even if you just tell a woman that you don’t like it that she’s out with another guy, she’ll love it, because it means you were thinking about her. Remember: A beautiful woman doesn’t wear that sexy outfit by accident. If her hair is done nicely, it wasn’t a fluke. Women are very impressed and attracted to men who notice these details. Plus, it’s much more powerful than listening to her complain to get your attention. Right?
No.7 Generosity
This one’s your secret weapon. Attractive women can get almost anything they want in life from men, so don’t try to impress them with gifts. Impress them by showing that you spend your time thinking about the welfare of others. Make a donation, help out someone less fortunate, donate time at a soup kitchen, and invite her along to see you in action. All of this will send her heart a-fluttering. And by the way (and much more importantly), you’ll be doing good for the world too.
No.6 Sexual mastery
What do I need to say? Women love sex just as much as men do. But just like everything else in life, a great lover is not easy to find. Women become instantly addicted to skillful lovers who know how to make them feel ecstasy and teach them new ways of feeling incredible. So read some books. Watch some “educational” movies. Do whatever it takes to get some moves down.
No.5 Romance
Most guys think it’s obvious, but here’s the real fact: Romance is powerful for creating attraction in a way that goes way beyond the whole prince-on-a-white-horse routine. Learn how to come across as the kind of man who knows how to connect with a woman emotionally and you’ll be golden. Instead of just looking at the surface of a woman, look within her to find the beautiful parts. Use your imagination to see opportunities for poetic comments, interesting stories, fascinating history, and emotional interpretation to everything, and you’ll sweep her right off her feet (and into bed).
No.4 Dominance
OK, big fella, listen up: It’s a scientific fact that attractive women have an unconscious attraction to “dominant” men. In fact, the dominant males in some primate groups account for up to 75% of all the matings with desirable females (while less dominant apes go home and watch Skinamax alone). Same goes for humans. Attractive women love men who know what they want and go after it. But, I’m not talking about the kind of assertiveness that makes her feel intimated or uncomfortable, or oversteps her boundaries. I’m talking about the kind of assertive stance that’s all about setting a goal and then going after it with passion. Women get turned on by that kind of dominance.

No.3 Class
If you show just a touch of class and culture (in other words, not so much that it’s boring) attractive women will pick up on it fast. So what exactly is “just a touch” of class? Well, maybe you know something about different types of wine or foreign movies. Do you understand something about fashion? Do you like Frank Sinatra? Maybe you enjoy exotic foods. How about opening doors for her? All of these are good for serving up just a “touch” of class without being a bore.
No.2 A sense of humor
It’s true; humor is an aphrodisiac to attractive women. If you can keep her laughing, everything will go your way no matter how you screw up otherwise — all because attractive women are magnetically drawn to men who crack them up. Now, this is a tough one to explain to some guys. Many men take this to mean being overly arrogant, which is not what I mean at all. I suggest you watch Pierce Brosnan in The Thomas Crown Affair, Clark Gable in Gone With The Wind or Tom Cruise in Top Gun, to get the idea of the kind of humor I’m talking about. The Cocky & Funny trait is really mild overconfidence combined with an awesome sense of humor. It drives women wild.
No.1 A sense of fun
This is the big one: Absolutely nothing is a bigger turn-off to attractive women than a buzz-kill. All women — especially the most attractive ones — are looking for men who like to have fun and do adventurous, unusual, even dangerous things. It’s instantly intriguing. It’s immediately enticing. It’s an escape from the humdrum of every day. Women will absolutely obsess over a genuinely fun guy who flirts a little, shows them a good time, and then doesn’t call the next day. So remember: Predictability is attractive to some women — ones looking for a husband. But when it comes to choosing their next date, fun wins out every time.

Eric Thomas- Motivation

6 Ingredients To Lasting Relationships

Throughout your life you will develop hundreds of relationships, from the important ones, to the ones that won’t quite matter as much. The very first relationships in our lives are the most important ones, because from there we learn to trust and receive love. Some of people had parents or guardians that were affectionate and taught them morals, values and principles that make us the adults who we are today. But since everyone doesn’t have the same foundation, many adults have short-comings and do not understand how relationships should work.

We normally are not unaware that our actions and thoughts are a reflection of our views about relationships in general. Eventually the vicious cycle of the behavior has been broken down here are some proper ingredients to healthy relationships.

6 keys to a good relationship:

1. Friendship

2. Respect

3. Honesty

4. Trust

5. Understanding

6. Communication


As adults, we can no longer blame our upbringing or past on why we are the way we are, or why we only relate to certain types of people and situations. We are all capable of having long-lasting, meaningful relationships while we are on this journey called life.



Props to Elv8

R. Kelly Has Emergency Throat Surgery

According to the Atlanta Journal, Kelly’s publicist Allan Mayer said Wednesday that doctors drained an abscess on one of Kelly’s tonsils on Tuesday and that the singer will be “laid up indefinitely” at Chicago’s Northwestern Memorial Hospital.

Mayer says Kelly had been complaining of throat pain recently. He was rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery after a throat exam.

R.Kelly was on tour with Keyshia Cole and Marsha Ambrious as opening acts.

Tonsil abscess is a common complication of tonsillitis, a throat infection which usually occurs among the pediatric population. A tonsil abscess is a sac containing pus that collects behind or on the side of the tonsil. Symptoms begin appearing a week before the formation of an abscess.

Early symptoms of peritonsillar abscess include throat pain that gets worse upon swallowing, enlarged tonsil(s), and redness of the throat.

Other symptoms following the formation of the abscess are:
# fever
# malaise
# headache
# neck swelling (not associated with thyroid)
# ear pain
# bad breath
# hoarseness

Treatment of the tonsil abscess includes cutting and draining the abscess, and intravenous antibiotics to treat the underlying infection.

Men Value Cuddling, Women Value Sex, Says New Reseach On Relationship Satisfaction

There's a long-standing myth that men don't like to cuddle, but that's just not true according to a new study on what makes men and women happy in relationships.

Researchers from the Kinsey Institute in Bloomington, Ind. surveyed 1,009 heterosexual middle-aged and older couples in long-term relationships from five different countries, and found some surprising results, reports TIME.

Men who reported frequently kissing or cuddling with their partners were on average three times as happy with their relationships as men who reported limited interaction. Perhaps more surprising, the study found it was sexual satisfaction that was more important to women in long-term relationships. And it also found that for women, sex got better over time -- they reported significantly more sexual satisfaction after being with their partner for 15 years.

"This study makes it clear our assumptions aren't always borne out by research," Jennifer Bass, director of communications at The Kinsey Institute told ABC News.

Psychologists who were not involved in the research were intrigued by the study's findings that men need touch and affection to be happy in relationships.

Aline Zoldbrod, a psychologist in Lexington, Mass., told ABC News that touch in general is very important and, "touch from a person you love and trust is a major emotional resource and a way that people can regulate their emotions when they are upset. Couples who use touch to comfort, to compliment, and yes, to seduce and arouse, are bound to be happier."

In a press release, the study's lead author and Director of the Kinsey Institute for Research In Sex, Gender and Reproduction, Julia Heinman noted that while we constantly hear about studies on divorce, research on lasting relationships is also important. We already know from other research that being happy in a long-term relationship has some health benefit. "Perhaps we can learn more about what makes relationships both sustainable and happy," she said.
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Women in long-term relationships may become more satisfied over time because expectations change once the children are grown, said Heinman. And "those who weren't so happy sexually might not be married so long."

The study also found that both Japanese men and women were significantly happier in their relationships than Americans, but Brazilians and the Spanish were less happy than American couples. This makes sense considering that, according to Heinman, while more than 50 percent of couples in the U.S. don't stay in their first marriage, that number increases to about 90 percent in Spain.


This study is important, co-author Michael Sand, a clinical sexologist at Boehringer-Ingelheim Pharmaceuticals, told MSNBC, because it shows that people can be in long-term relationships and still enjoy "healthy, vibrant sexuality."

5 Quick Fixes Every Relationship Needs

Have you and your partner been together for ages — or are you still sailing along in the honeymoon phase? No matter how long you’ve been a twosome, it’s always smart to take a step back from your relationship to give it a tune-up.

In fact, all relationships need TLC. Without it, partners get lazy and the spark dies out, says Irina Firstein, LCSW, a New York City relationship counselor who has doled out relationship advice to couples for over 20 years.

Her best advice? "Try to remember what attracted you to your partner in the beginning of your relationship. Feel it again and keep it fresh in your mind."

Here, Firstein offers five no-fail tips for recharging your relationship.

Try a Little Tenderness

Here’s a rule of thumb that seems like a no-brainer, but often gets forgotten in the rush of daily life: Be nice to each other! It’s all too easy to take your partner for granted and get wrapped up in kids and work, says Firstein. Instead, try this: Take a moment every day to pay your partner a compliment. "Go out of your way to make your partner feel special and important," she says.

Chit-Chat More

One piece of relationship advice all experts agree on? Communication is key. When was the last time you went out of your way to have a real conversation with your partner — one that you didn't rush through? "Have a genuine interest in every aspect of your mate's life the way you did when you first met and started dating,” says Firstein. “Ask questions and really listen to what they have to say. Be interested in how they feel and what they think."

Add Oomph to Your ‘Thank You’

Do you remember the last time you told your honey how much you appreciate him? A healthy relationship is a blessing, so say thanks with both words and with deeds. If your wife usually gets home from work late, surprise her one night with a homemade, late-night meal. If your husband is usually in charge of yard duty, give him the day off and get out there with the mower yourself.

Abandon Your Comfort Zone

You don’t have to splurge on the expensive or the exotic — any change of pace can be good for a relationship that has gotten into a rut. "If you are in a routine as a couple, just do something totally new and different. Trying new things always sparks something unexpected," says Firstein. It could be as simple as going to a new restaurant or going to a concert instead of watching a movie on your own sofa. Instead of eating breakfast with the kids, have breakfast in bed. Instead of watching the news, go for an evening walk.

And Don’t Forget to Have Sex Tonight!

Remember: Romance is one of the most important parts of intimacy. Look for unexpected ways to show your sexual interest. "Try acting like you can't keep your hands off each other," suggests Firstein. Plan a special breakfast in bed or take a shower together. And if you are a couple with kids, it is crucial to have some private time. "Why not get away for a weekend together, even if it is just at a hotel down the street?" says Firstein.

Can you remember why you fell in love in the first place? Then you’re off to a great start

HAPPY FATHERS DAY- (lessons from mine to me) by Hlaapi

Happy Fathers Day to all Fathers.

I would like to believe this is the most rewarding perennial day as a father.
Having the opportunity to look at your Kids and shed a tear of joy and fulfillment.

I was fortunate enough to have a good father in my life who was there everyday and did all he could to ensure i had the Best opportunity at anything and everything this world has to offer.

As the oldest in our Family i was held to a higher Standard than any of the other siblings, Unfortunately i didn't understand why till i had matured mentally.

I came to understand he was grooming me to be a Father at some stage of my life.
Woman shouldn't be left to raise Boys into Men,

He taught me how to be rational and think before acting,
Looking for solutions before worrying about the problem,
He taught me to value family more than any other thing in the world,
I learnt to value the growth of our community more than any of my personal achievements,
Knowing that everyday you make a decision that can change the path which your walking on towards prosperity.
Knowing God will lead you the right way every time.
Knowing no person accomplishment will make you a man,
Every conflict you encounter has a bigger picture designed by the way you react to that conflict.
Learning to let love and loved ones go on to make mistakes instead of having your hand on their shoulder every time.
Helping others and your friends become better people in turn makes you a better person.
Self worth should be measured by the wrinkles from laughter you have on your face.
Most importantly i learnt to use failure as a tool to propel towards success.



The roll of a Father in any Child's life is Critical underestimated.
Woman need Present active Fathers more than anything else.

Whether good or Bad your still a Father and one day your number will be called from the Bench to make a critical play that can shape your child's life.

I have the luck of having friends that are VERY Very good fathers.
I wouldn't be friends with any man who neglects his children as thou they don't exist.

I am who i am today all because my father was active in shaping my life on a day to day bases,



Fatherless to Fatherhood- Quality Time



I know i've posted this video before but you gotta realize this little is not reading a script,
Evidently the father is and has been very active in her life for them to reach the level they are at to sing this song.
This video below means a lot

5 Hygiene Products Every GQ Man Should Have

Men often get lost in the shuffle for what they should purchase when it comes to products. Taking care of yourself is imperative to creating a healthy well rounded person.

Here are 5 items that no man should be without.

1-Body Wash for Your Skin Type-Instead of relying on your old standby, choose a skin cleanser based on your skin. First, narrow down whether your go-to bar of soap or liquid cleanser is right for your skin type. Axe Body wash offers a wide variety

2-Floss Good oral hygiene will not only give you a healthy smile and fresh breath.Please Please Brush the Back of your Tounge, The back of your tounge is where all the Bad Breath comes from especially in the mornings, it may reduce your chances of heart disease. Surprised? Studies have found that people who have periodontal disease — gingivitis and periodontitis — have double the risk of a condition called atherosclerosis, which is the hardening of arteries. Flossing, in particular, will remove more than just stray poppy seeds; it also removes plaque that causes gum disease, inflammation and tooth decay.


3-Shaving Cream It may seem OK to substitute your face soap or body wash for shaving cream, but trust us: Shaving cream will make your skin feel lighter. Shaving cream, gel or lotion creates a layer of protection between your skin and the razor blade. That protective layer reduces the drag of the blade, in turn reducing the irritation you have from shaving, such as shaving bumps and razor burn. Choose a thick gel or cream with hydrating ingredients, and let it sit on your skin for a few minutes to soften hairs before shaving. Most Black men prefer to an electric trimmer to avoid the bumps from Razor use but still letting shaving cream sit after a Shower helps. We dont recommend after shave cause it causes irritation on the skin leading to more bumps, A simple wash of after shaving and apply Coco Butter will solve most of your after effect Problems,



4-Antiperspirant or Deodorant Americans
spend more than $1 billion every year on products to stop sweat and body odor [source: Grossman]. It’s big business and a big job — the body has about 2.6 million sweat glands, and a person can produce 1 to 3 liters of sweat in just an hour in a hot climate [source: Fort Worth Star-Telegram]. To combat odor, wetness or both, you’ll want to have an antiperspirant or deodorant (or a combination) in your arsenal. Antiperspirants work by temporarily plugging up your pores, making it impossible for the sweat to escape. Deodorants won’t stop your sweat. Instead, they mask body odor with fragrance and by reducing the number of odor-causing bacteria on our skin.

5-Moisturizer-

Just as you’d consider your skin type when searching for the right body wash, you should consider your particular skin needs when buying a moisturizer. If you have normal skin, the world of moisturizers is wide open to you. If you don’t have normal skin, and many of us don’t, you’ll need to be a little pickier.